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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28250193">split for the season</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/nolongervoid/pseuds/nolongervoid'>nolongervoid</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>12 Days of Ramenzo [10]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>BoBoiBoy (Cartoon)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M, Multi, Temporary Break Up, but idc, idek what this is, its more of a kaifang fic tbh, pls jsut accept it im so tired help, pls take it, uh</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 18:48:12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,789</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28250193</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/nolongervoid/pseuds/nolongervoid</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Ramen and Kaizo have a fight before Christmas. It's the time apart that reminds them of the value of their time together.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>BoBoiBoy/Fang/Gopal Kumar, Fang &amp; Kaizo (BoBoiBoy), Kaizo/Ramenman (BoBoiBoy)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>12 Days of Ramenzo [10]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2053443</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>split for the season</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>As far as anyone could tell, it had started out as a normal day. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not a trace of animosity in the air over breakfast. Ramen cooking eggs, Kaizo sipping from a cup of tea while scrolling through his phone. Casual conversation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then Ramen mentioned a friend of his was having a Christmas party. Kaizo paid it little mind - didn’t lift his eyes from his screen - told Ramen to have fun. Ramen insisted that Kaizo should come, too, and Kaizo expressed passive disinterest, avoiding the topic.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The next thing he knew, Ramen was shouting.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>I swear, you are the worst person anyone could have for a boyfriend.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And Kaizo was shouting back, tuning out Ramen’s words in favor of his own comebacks, which only served to make the blond angrier than he already was. Which was strikingly uncharacteristic for Ramen, to begin with. Any surprise Kaizo may have expressed at Ramen lashing out at him immediately evaporated, leaving only spite and vexation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know what, that’s it,” Kaizo said finally. “I’m going to my brother’s house.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You go do that,” Ramen replied coldly. “It’ll be good to not have to deal with you for once.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kaizo ignored the way his words felt like an icy slap to the face and silently grabbed his jacket, leaving without another word. Ramen said nothing as the door slammed closed, and Kaizo didn’t look back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And now he’s here, standing in front of the narrow townhouse, pressing the glowing doorbell. His mind is amazingly blank as the door takes an age to open, revealing someone who is not his brother.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Kaizo?</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Boboiboy’s jaw drops in surprise.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kaizo attempts to peek behind him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is Pang home?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Boboiboy shakes his head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s out with Gopal right now, but they’ll be back soon.” He steps aside. “Come in.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kaizo hesitates a moment before following him in and closing the door behind him to keep out the cold. He lingers around the entrance awkwardly, till Boboiboy reaches to take his jacket, and he quickly sheds it. It ends up shoved in the closet, and Boboiboy retires to the dining table, which is presently spread with piles of sheets surrounding an open laptop.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kaizo, now lacking his jacket, shakes off his shoes and slips out of them, avoiding the puddles of melted snow that have formed on the floor. Almost immediately, something soft rubs against his ankles, and he looks down to see a tabby cat rubbing itself against his leg.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stands still and stares down at it till it passes, disappearing back into a bedroom, and relaxes, shuffling over to the living room. Boboiboy, engrossed in his laptop screen, doesn’t glance his way as he settles himself down onto a sofa.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It still feels awkward and out of place, but he relaxes his back and slouches into the soft upholstery. The room looks messier than he remembers it, though his memories are faded. Judging by the pile of work on the table, Boboiboy, at least, hasn’t had the time to keep the place clean. As for his housemates, Kaizo can only wonder how much his brother and his friend contribute to the housekeeping.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kaizo closes his eyes and his mind immediately rushes back to replay the events of this morning. He has a headache. The cold dregs of his tea are probably still on the counter. He wonders if Ramen bothered to put the cup in the sink. Or if he ditched the house soon after Kaizo, heading to a friend’s place to relax.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kaizo doesn’t know, nor does he care very much. He’s here, now, and when Pang finally gets home, he’ll be with his own family.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He cringes very slightly at that thought because it’s such an unfamiliar concept to cross his mind. He supposes that bad experiences with other people only serve to tighten the ties of blood. Still, though, he rarely thinks of Pang in that familial sense.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There’s a shifting in the cushions and Kaizo stiffens as a small black cat pads across the sofa, behind Kaizo’s shoulders. Its fur brushes just barely against his hair and he’s frozen still as it passes. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>How many cats do they have here?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Before he knows it, there’s a rustling at the door, barely audible voices outside, the slightly more distinguishable turning of a key in a lock, and the door finally cracks open.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>We’re home</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” comes the chipper declaration from none other than his brother. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pang appears, flushed from the cold, bright eyes and a cheery grin as he greets his boyfriend. The one not accompanying him, carrying an equal load of bulging shopping bags.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Boboiboy gets up to meet them at the door, and that’s when Pang’s eyes travel to the living room to land on the unexpected visitor on the sofa. He stops in his tracks, narrowing his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s he doing here?” He’s asking Boboiboy, not Kaizo.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Boboiboy follows his gaze to the couch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Er, he came by a while ago. I told him you went out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pang nods slowly, though the suspicion doesn’t fade from his face. Gopal doesn’t appear nearly as startled by Kaizo’s presence, rather he seems to ignore him completely as he heaves the bags onto the limited amount of free space on the table.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He walks over and slaps a hand to Boboiboy’s cheek, and the other recoils at the sensation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Feel how cold it is outside,” Gopal demands, and Boboiboy nods with wide eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You guys want koko?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’d be great,” Pang flashes a smile, though Kaizo can’t place whether it’s genuine or sarcastic.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Boboiboy doesn’t seem to question as he heads behind the counter and grabs a can of powder, presumably to prepare warm drinks. He doesn’t ask if Kaizo wants one.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In fact, as Fang heads up the stairs to where the bedrooms are, Kaizo may as well not be an entity in the room at all. He’s just sitting there, practically invisible, twiddling his thumbs and hyper-aware of cat fur affixing itself to his pants from simply sitting on the sofa.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pang reappears from the stairs, wearing only a tank top and jeans, having shed the sleeved layer underneath his winter jacket. He barely glances Kaizo’s way as he reaches to pick up the small black cat from the stairs and cradle it gently as he walks over to the living room. He sits down on a chair next to the couch and sets the cat down to play on his lap. He leans back into the cushions and stretches his arms with a sigh and then, </span>
  <em>
    <span>finally</span>
  </em>
  <span>, addresses Kaizo.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, what brings you here?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He doesn’t turn to look at Kaizo, which catches Kaizo off-guard, and he pauses.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let me guess, it’s not because you miss your brother,” Pang goes on when Kaizo doesn’t respond. “Where’s Ramen?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re taking a break…” Kaizo says slowly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A bit too slowly. Pang raises a skeptical eyebrow, but, to Kaizo’s mercy, doesn’t press on. He shrugs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s nice to see you again,” he says casually, producing a ribbon from </span>
  <em>
    <span>somewhere</span>
  </em>
  <span> and holding it up in the air as the black cat leaps up to grab at it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mm,” Kaizo nods along vaguely.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The aroma of warm chocolate reaches them and Pang gets up to retrieve his mug of koko from the kitchen counter, leaving Kaizo alone in the living room again. He stares at the black cat, who plays with the piece of ribbon Pang dropped, before abandoning it and padding off towards Pang.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Somehow, in spite of Pang’s words, he feels more out-of-place than he did before.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The house is too empty.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Given, a full house is plenty space for just two people to begin with, but the hallways suddenly feel hauntingly deserted. Ramen can’t help but shiver even though the heating system is functional and running; it almost feels as though every rush of cold wind outside has seeped in through the walls and settled into the rooms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As chilly as the house feels, Ramen’s blood is still boiling. Every time he steps back into the kitchen to grab a bite to eat, he has flashbacks to their fight before that prick finally got up and left, and it fills Ramen with a surge of anger that erases whatever appetite he had before coming downstairs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His friends have no objection to him coming over to hang out in attempts to get his mind off of his ire, but he ends up venting about it anyway. They listen patiently and Mamee is especially earnest in his support, but in the end, Ramen only ends up feeling frustratingly hollow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So they distract him, and he smiles, and laughs, and almost forgets that his boyfriend is a stubborn jerk who wasted his time and his energy and his feelings, until he’s convinced that he’s fine. Then he thanks them and bids his goodbyes and goes back home and sees the kitchen again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And then he goes to sleep in an empty bed, seething all the while.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wakes up alone under blankets, and in the wee hours of morning - his phone tells him 2:53am in the dark - starts to wish he had something to hold on to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not Kaizo, though. Never Kaizo.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s surprisingly chilly in the early morning. He wonders what the thermostat reads.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Okay, maybe Kaizo…</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He lays awake till the day begins, and any trace of sympathy he had for Kaizo disappears with the rising run.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It takes Kaizo a moment when he wakes up to remember that he’s sleeping in the second bedroom in Pang’s house. Apparently, Gopal usually sleeps here alone because his snoring keeps the other two awake at night, but they took him in with minimal negotiation for the time being, so Kaizo has the room to himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He briefly ponders the impact it had on Pang and Boboiboy’s sleep last night, then dismisses the thought. They’ll probably be fine…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yesterday morning, Ramen shook him awake at 8am - which was barbaric considering it was winter break. Kaizo feels a twinge of annoyance at the memory, intensified tenfold at the recollection of what proceeded after breakfast.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s all just an unpleasant mess in his mind, unfortunately vivid with spite. He glances at the clock.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>8:47.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Damn, you, Ramen…</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Kaizo tries to shove the blond out of his mind and wonders if it’s too early to go downstairs yet. He takes his chances and tiptoes out of the room - to his surprise, the curtains around the window at the end of the hallway are open, letting light stream onto the floor before the stairs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sun is bright considering the time - almost mockingly bright - as if to scorn his own unhappiness.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He steps downstairs carefully and it takes him a moment to distinguish Boboiboy’s head in his arms, hunched over the table. His laptop is still open, but the screen is dark.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kaizo stands around hesitantly, not wanting to disturb the other, but also feeling rather hungry. He hadn’t the heart to eat much last night, stomach twisting with anxiety and leaving little room or tolerance for food. This morning, he’s not feeling much better, but he is famished.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He slowly, carefully, cracks open the fridge. A carrot donut sits on the top shelf, immediately catching his eye, and he almost instinctively reaches for it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, you’re awake?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kaizo has a small heart attack and whips around to see Boboiboy blearily gazing at him, lifting his head from the table.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t disturb you, did I?” Kaizo asks quickly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Boboiboy yawns and shakes his head. “It’s the last week of classes. I was going to pull an all-nighter, but I guess I fell asleep…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kaizo has brief war flashbacks to the agonies of college and nods sympathetically.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Gopal makes breakfast, if you want to wait a while,” Boboiboy goes on. “Help yourself, otherwise.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He pauses, squinting at the fridge door currently ajar, Kaizo’s hand inching towards the carrot donut.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think Fang might want that, though,” he adds apologetically, and Kaizo sighs, dropping his hand in defeat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine,” he says, slightly disappointed, and half a mind to weigh the likelihood of Pang murdering him for eating his donut (which isn’t improbable). “I’ll have, uh…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Eggs?” Boboiboy prompts, and Kaizo pauses.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Truth be told, he doesn’t actually know how to cook, but Boboiboy doesn’t know that - and doesn’t need to find out, either.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Eggs,” Kaizo nods, and ducks back to scan the fridge for eggs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>At least he knows he’s looking for round brown ovals. Or, white, he finally comes up with one, and sets it down on the counter. Something feels slightly unfamiliar about using white eggs instead of brown.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The egg sits on the counter, and Kaizo feels almost threatened by it, as if it’s watching him, daring him to prove his incompetence. He’s never had to cook a meal in his life - save for microwaved quick-fixes - usually it was Ramen…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The image of the blond floats back into his mind. A skillet. A sizzling sunny-side-up. Ramen’s spatula. Ramen’s face, twisted in annoyance. Anger.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I’m kind of sick of you sometimes.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, you good?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Boboiboy’s voice snaps him out of his thoughts and he stills, only now realizing he’s slightly shaking. He looks up at the other and nods, not quite convincingly. Boboiboy raises an eyebrow, then, after a beat,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you know how to cook an egg?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kaizo freezes, then slowly nods.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Does it show?” he asks doubtfully.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Boboiboy laughs. “Nah, Fang can’t cook for the life of him, so figures.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kaizo stares on hesitantly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He said you guys never learned to cook because Lahap made all your meals,” Boboiboy goes on, not wrong. “When I tell you how he tried to cook an egg in the microwave. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Shell on</span>
  </em>
  <span> and everything!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kaizo nods along, mentally noting </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘no shell in the microwave’.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“So uh, what do I do with this,” he asks, frowning.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He recalls Ramen cracking an egg into a skillet, but unfortunately, the Kaizo who witnessed the scene to commit it to memory was paying more attention to Ramen’s hands than what they were doing, and the Kaizo who attempts to recall information does not want to remember Ramen in any way shape or form right now, so he’s at a bit of a loss.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m assuming Ramen does the cooking at home,” Boboiboy goes on knowingly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kaizo stiffens, probably visibly, but to his mercy, Boboiboy doesn’t press, and there’s the thud of footfalls on the stairs. They turn to see Pang appearing at the bottom of the stairs, peering at both of them, rubbing sleep out of his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>The fuck you doing awake so early?</span>
  </em>
  <span>” he gapes at Kaizo, who shrugs. It’s a bit of a learned habit at this point.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And you,” Pang turns to Boboiboy. “Did you manage that all-nighter?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Boboiboy’s eyes are drooping and he shakes his head. Pang purses his lips, an unreadable expression, and Kaizo questions him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t you still have assignments?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pang pauses, almost hesitant, then throws his hands up in the air. “Listen, I’ve been studying my ass off for months, I deserve a break.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kaizo’s eyebrows jump and Pang is quick to continue,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But I’ll finish it up tonight. Gopal and I were going to pull an all-nighter tonight to finish everything before Friday, though I’ll bet he’s gonna need at least two to catch up on everything.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Boboiboy shakes his head tiredly at them both, though Pang ignores him to yank open the fridge and grab the donut Kaizo had been eyeing earlier. Pang eats it whole in one bite, and Kaizo feels a twinge of jealousy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nhbgwshohotndsyehdeh,” Pang says with his mouth full, then swallows. “I’d go back today-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re just gonna procrastinate all your work till tonight?” Boboiboy cuts him off, and he sighs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I said I’d get it done, didn’t I?” Pang pouts. “I didn’t say </span>
  <em>
    <span>when.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This time Kaizo interjects,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You should finish your work while you have the time. Don’t delay it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He doesn’t mean to sound overbearing and bossy, but it slips into his voice out of habit. Pang simply scoffs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, old man,” he rolls his eyes, but there’s a smile on his lips, and it catches Kaizo off-guard.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He narrows his eyes, but then Pang finishes,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anyway, I need those donuts.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Boboiboy ignores him and glances upstairs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is Gopal up yet?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pang shrugs, opening the fridge again to search for something to eat, then closes it in defeat, standing up to scan the countertop, and his eyes land on the sole egg sitting in front of Kaizo. Kaizo catches his eye.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kaizo was going to make himself something before Gopal came down to cook,” Boboiboy explains, to Kaizo’s disappointment, as Pang’s eyebrows jump.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You cook?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’s faintly smirking and Kaizo desires nothing more than to slap the amusement off his face. He settles for a disgruntled grimace and Pang pokes him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not like you can cook, either,” he points out, praying that Pang hasn’t picked up a skill or two in his absence.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>To his relief, Pang shrugs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t need to,” he grins, absolutely relaxed. “Why bother, when I’ve got two talented chefs in the house to spoil me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Well so do I!</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Kaizo says without thinking, catching himself a moment too late. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh, no…</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Pang raises an eyebrow and Kaizo’s heart sinks, but he doesn’t press further.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anyway,” Boboiboy notes the awkward silence. “I guess Gopal isn’t coming down, yet, so I’ll cook.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He didn’t snore all night,” Pang muses.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You mean he didn’t choke on cat fur in the middle of the night?” Boboiboy teases.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fang smirks. “I wouldn’t know - I slept with my noise-cancelling headphones on.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They laugh good-naturedly and Kaizo feels awkwardly out of place, closing in on himself as if to distance himself without moving. He doesn’t belong here…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Someone slides a plate of eggs in front of him and he doesn’t look up to see who it is - though the plate is unfamiliar, for a moment it almost feels like another morning, Ramen passing him a plate of freshly cooked eggs. He knows in the back of his mind that Ramen isn’t here, but if he stares intently enough, he can almost imagine…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The eggs don’t taste like Ramen’s at all, which is a reality check, he supposes. He eats them with a very slight frown, though quickly turns the corners of his lips up into a grateful smile when Pang glances his way.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks,” he says, sliding the empty plate back. “They were delicious.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ramen’s are a thousand times better, but he doesn’t say that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pang heads out alone to the bakery in pursuit for his beloved donuts, and, thankfully, the pantry is restocked by the afternoon. Kaizo doesn’t hesitate to grab one the moment Pang tucks them away in a cabinet, and his brother only gives him a long look before shrugging and warning him not to finish them all by himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s my job,” Pang finishes with a smirk and Kaizo, in spite of himself, softens.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He still goes back to sneak another one when Pang and Gopal are engrossed in their studies, though. If it goes to say anything, this is one good thing he hasn’t had in a </span>
  <em>
    <span>long</span>
  </em>
  <span> time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He doesn’t bother them while they work. He closes his bedroom door, but after approximately half an hour, feels terribly closed-in and lonely, so he opens the door. Almost immediately, a pale grey cat walks in through the door, graceful and almost reproachful, as Kaizo watches it warily. It circles the room and then leaves, before the tabby cat from earlier arrives, this time hopping onto the bed and curling up next to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He dares to pet it, and it makes no complaint as he runs a hand through warm, soft fur. It purrs contentedly and he finds himself captivated by it. Just watching it is rather fascinating, and it shifts and pads its way onto his lap, greeting him with the unfamiliar sensation of gentle claws digging in through his sweatpants.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He turns his head to avoid breathing in cat hairs, but he doesn’t hate it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kaizo finds himself curled up on the sofa the next evening. Pang and Gopal and Boboiboy have all abandoned their work to decorate the room, and the room is surprisingly clean-ish for the first time since Kaizo got here. Pang dusted off the mantle and Gopal put up stockings, then hunted around in the basement for a box of ornaments.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s really all for show,” Boboiboy shrugged. “We don’t have to bother.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You just want a break from studying, too,” Gopal didn’t hesitate to call him out immediately, and he slumped his shoulders in surrender.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pang ended up hanging up the ornaments until Gopal appeared, holding up a sprig of mistletoe above his hand, and Kaizo felt himself melting into the background as they kissed, then pulled away laughing, and Gopal turned to chase down Boboiboy and grab a kiss from him, too.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kaizo could only watch on, silently, as Pang grabbed his guitar and strummed a few chords before belting out a few verses of Santa Baby before Boboiboy stopped him, half amused, half begging him to </span>
  <em>
    <span>not.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The atmosphere is warm, soft, and Kaizo feels hopelessly out-of-place. They’re so happy, cheery, in love - it feels unfamiliar, sure, to see Pang like this, but it also tugs at something else in Kaizo’s mind. In his heart.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In spite of himself, he remembers Ramen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He tries to recall the fight, all the toxic, venomous words Ramen threw his way that morning, that make his insides curl up before turning to ice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The fireplace is blazing. He was here a year ago. They were here a year ago. Pang begged them to come. Ramen told him to go.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kaizo forces himself to replay every single slip, every red flag, every exchange of their last fight, but in the flickering firelight, all he can see is Ramen sitting there, head thrown back, laughing, face alight and glowing with mirth that Kaizo couldn’t bring himself to stay mad at, even in spite of his silly antics, he couldn’t help but soften.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Red ribbon…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kaizo blinks. The carpet was fluffy - they had bought it new last year. It’s only been a year but it’s matted down, not unclean, but it’s seen the wear-and-tear of daily life.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pang and Gopal and Boboiboy have gone to bed. He wonders how they’ll fit into one room. They didn’t address him before they left.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The silence in the room is deafening.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stares on at the fireplace, and he can hear laughter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The shopping cart has a loose wheel, and it squeaks across the floor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pang is leaned over the handle casually, and Kaizo walks beside him through the aisles, doubtful.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are we looking for, again?” he asks, glancing at rows and rows of Christmas themed novelties.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Whatever we want,” Pang shrugs, which tells Kaizo absolutely nothing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, really,” he repeats, wondering why they’re wasting their time here, “what are we doing?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pang pauses. “Have you ever gone grocery shopping before?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Kaizo says simply, then stops. “Have you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pang doesn’t question it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Every week.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Huh…” Kaizo says thoughtfully, and Pang stops the shopping cart in front of a display of candy canes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He picks up a giant one - Kaizo shudders to imagine the heathens who actually buy it - and then another, and forces it into Kaizo’s hand. He smacks it lightly with his own.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What is this,” Kaizo asks dryly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Candy cane swordfight,” Pang grins.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kaizo raises an eyebrow and knocks Pang’s candy cane right out of his hand. His brother’s face falls in disappointment as the stick clatters to the floor, and a fellow shopper casts them an annoyed look. Kaizo ignores them and smirks in spite of himself at the small triumph. Pang punches him weakly and laughs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They turn the cart into an empty aisle and Pang’s eyes flash with mischief. Before Kaizo knows it, his brother is seated in the cart, and his own hands are on the handle, and it comes almost automatically to break into a run and speed the cart through the entirety of the aisle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pang whoops and cheers and Kaizo slows the cart to a stop just in time to avoid running straight into a careful arrangement of fruitcake. He releases a breath and doubles down, laughing, while Pang hops out of the cart, grinning widely.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wasn’t that fun? Gopal and Boboiboy did it all the time, before the manager yelled at them,” he explains, all in a rush.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t believe we did that,” Kaizo shakes his head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He has to admit, though, it was kind of fun.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They talk and joke all the way home and it’s almost surreal to be casually hanging out with his brother like this. Kaizo can only remember distance and awkward formalities between them, but he can sense the influence Pang’s boyfriends have had on him. It’s jarring, but he doesn’t hate it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’s also got a smart mouth, but at this point, he’s a grown adult, so Kaizo can’t do much about that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When they finally get home, Kaizo half-expects Pang to go back to hanging out with the other two, but instead, he approaches Kaizo’s room with a plate of donuts after they settle down. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He closes the door behind him and sits down on the edge of the bed, almost hesitant, and Kaizo grabs a donut without questioning.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I ask,” Pang says after a beat. “What happened?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It takes Kaizo a moment to catch on, and he freezes. Pang is watching curiously and he gives in. It’s not like he’s had anyone to talk about it to, yet, anyway.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So Kaizo glances down at the bedsheets and sighs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We had a fight.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There’s a beat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What happened?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing much,” Kaizo shrugs. “Well, I thought. It started just a little argument. Ramen wanted me to come with him to this party. You know I don’t like going out…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pang presses his lips into a fine line but does not interrupt, and Kaizo, almost involuntarily, finds himself continuing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well he got upset. Annoyed. I didn’t realize how long he’d been holding it in but I guess it’d been bothering him for a while cause he just. Snapped. I never saw him get that angry before.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And what did you do?” Pang asks, sounding suspicious.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kaizo sighs. “I got defensive…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You ignored his points and you shouted back,” Pang confirms, and Kaizo’s heart sinks. Of course he would know…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry,” he mumbles.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pang shrugs. “Go on.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s there to talk about? He said all kinds of things I never thought he’d say. He said he was sick of me, that I was the worst boyfriend possible, when I left he just seemed to be glad to get rid of me…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The memory of the conversation rises up and sends a wave of spite through him, almost surprising him, and he grimaces.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>You just left?!</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Pang sounds appalled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I, yeah?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pang splutters in outrage. “What did you say?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kaizo shrugs. “Told him I was coming here. I told you we were taking a break. I’m not wrong…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pang sighs. “Well you came to the right place, at least. Have you talked since then?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kaizo shakes his head and Pang’s expression twists.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I see…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kaizo stares down at the bedsheet, studying its design.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I feel kind of bad,” he admits. “I did screw up, I guess. He’s never gotten mad at me like this before.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Have you been okay?” Pang asks quietly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kaizo bites his lip.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s nice here,” he says slowly. “You guys have been great about me just showing up on short notice.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>I miss him</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” The words tumble out, his voice cracking, and he isn’t even sure why. He’s not-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The next thing he knows, there’s a heavy weight on his shoulder, and he looks up to see Pang’s hand resting there. He stares, then glances to his face, confused.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ll be okay,” Pang says firmly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kaizo gapes, then ducks his head, then finally bobs his head up and down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pang holds his shoulder a moment, then releases it, and glances away, almost awkward. Kaizo can feel his touch lingering and wonders since when Pang became the touchy type. It must be his boyfriends’ influence.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not that Kaizo minds.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ramen’s conscience has been clawing at him for days and it’s driving him mad.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I shouldn’t have said what I did,” he says slowly, wishing he could take his words back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nah, man,” Mamee soothes over the phone. “You were upset. It’s about time you let it out. If he couldn’t take the hint then that’s on him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But I could have been less harsh about it,” Ramen says doubtfully.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“As if he’s ever been less than blunt about anything?” Mamee says, almost spitefully, and Ramen stops.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess you’re right…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know I am. It’s Christmas Eve, bro, try to relax. Enjoy yourself!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mm, yeah, I’ll try,” Ramen lies, and hangs up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kaizo is impossible to deal with. Ramen’s been told he’s a patient person - but even Kaizo managed to push him over the edge. That’s a red flag…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But he can’t stop thinking about him. Every step is just a memory of him, every room echoes with his exasperated laughter, restrained smiles, token moments of fondness when he </span>
  <em>
    <span>wasn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> being stubbornly impossibly hard to reach.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was so tiring, Ramen reminds himself, but the voice still nags at the back of his mind.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But it was worth it.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kaizo appreciates Pang trying extra-hard to include him the next day. Boboiboy and Gopal try, too, to be as welcoming as possible, but Christmas Eve is Christmas Eve, and they’re all looking for ways to celebrate the holiday, at last - their books finally closed and cast aside, laptop tabs X-ed out after weeks of cramming.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So after a long day of laughing and joking and recounting anecdotes, he finally retires to his own bedroom to give them their own space for the night. He ends up scrolling through his phone, still feeling light from cheerful socialization, and rather content with his situation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>An hour goes by and the jolly mood fades, leaving him empty and exasperated and longing for something to occupy himself. He’s been switching through the same six apps for the last half hour, struggling to find new engaging content, when his screen is filled with a system app override.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It takes him a moment to register that Ramen is calling him, though it doesn’t feel real. He stares at it for a long moment, thinking very quickly, and finds himself torn as the call times out and Ramen presumably gets his answering machine.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Well, he can’t-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ramen calls again, catching Kaizo off-guard again, and this time he debates for one long moment before giving in and swiping green.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The line is silent for several moments, and Kaizo’s stomach twists, before he breaks the silence-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m sorry</span>
  </em>
  <span>-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I miss you-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They both go silent. There’s a deep breath on the other end.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” Kaizo mumbles before Ramen can speak up again. “You got upset at me. I deserved it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, but you didn’t deserve some of the stuff I said,” Ramen admits. “I was an asshole.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe you were,” Kaizo allows, and there’s a sharp inhale.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>You know wh-</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But you’d been letting me get away with being one for way longer,” Kaizo goes on. “You got sick of it. I get it. I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ramen seems at a loss for words, and a moment passes in silence before he speaks up again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” he repeats. “I miss you. Please come back.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kaizo’s heart swells, but he restrains himself, hesitant.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, I’m at my brother’s place…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re spending Christmas with them?” Ramen sounds disappointed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kaizo pauses a moment. “I could head back tomorrow morning…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?” Ramen sounds hopeful.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aren’t you going to that party tomorrow evening…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Ramen says stiffly. “I am.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That’s what started the argument. The party they were invited to. That Kaizo didn’t want to attend. ‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>Your friend not mine’</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kaizo hesitates a moment. “Can I come?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” Ramen’s surprise is audible.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s go together,” Kaizo says. “I want to.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You sure?” Ramen asks doubtfully.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve been hanging out with Pang’s boyfriends - if that gives you any hope for my social life,” Kaizo tries light-heartedly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I must say it’s a development… But really? You want to come?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kaizo nods, and smiles in spite of himself. “If they still want me…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course they do!” Ramen bursts out, then backtracks. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>I, uh…</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll have to explain to them,” Ramen admits, confirming Kaizo’s suspicions. Ramen’s friends never liked him much…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But I want you to come,” Ramen goes on. “And they’ll take that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kaizo hesitates.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” Ramen repeats. “I don’t know what got into me…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll do better,” Kaizo cuts him off. “I won’t be a terrible boyfriend.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>You’re not a terrible boyfriend,</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Ramen sighs. “Fuck, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. I was just…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tired?” Kaizo prompts, then sighs. “Yeah, I would be too. I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ramen mutters for a moment then speaks up. “I miss you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I miss you, too…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“...”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you,” Kaizo says, before he can stop himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ramen pauses only a moment. “I love you, too…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kaizo’s heart sinks, but Ramen seems to catch onto his own hesitation because he goes on.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I still love you,” he clarifies.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kaizo’s heart swells.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll be back tomorrow morning,” he promises, then pauses. “Merry Christmas.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Say it to my face tomorrow, if you mean it,” Ramen jokes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kaizo rolls his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Merry Christmas, Kaizo,” Ramen softens.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The line clicks dead, but Kaizo is glowing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There’s a knock at the door, then a pause, before the handle turns and Pang peeks his head in. Kaizo can’t help but beam at him, and his face splits into a grin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess you’re not staying for long, then,” he says, a bit disappointed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kaizo pauses a moment. “Why don’t you come over?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pang’s eyebrows jump in surprise. “Really?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean, why not? You guys are on break, now, right? The house has space-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pang’s eyes are sparkling, and he reaches over to punch Kaizo lightly. “About time you invited me over.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ramen has been telling me to every holiday,” Kaizo admits, and Pang gapes in outrage.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?! And you didn’t call us over yet?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kaizo shrugs. “You know how I am.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pang glares and Kaizo throws his hands up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Was</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” he clarifies.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, Scrooge,” Pang rolls his eyes. “I’ll go tell Boboiboy and Gopal that we’re spending the New Year at your place. You’ll have </span>
  <em>
    <span>three</span>
  </em>
  <span> amazing cooks in the house.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And he’s absolutely right.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i didnt even proofread this it's almost 7pm pls shoot me idk what this is :"D</p></blockquote></div></div>
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